It’s Sunday and I’m remembering how for many years of my working life (and maybe student life before that), Sunday afternoons were the time that any peace, calm, or enjoyment I was experiencing began to transition into worry, anxiety, and dread. It was a routine occurrence that signaled to me it was time to get out the planner and later the wine.

My motto was there was nothing that couldn’t be solved with the right task or action plan scheduled into the proper time slot. Then having both satisfied and exhausted myself with that 2-hour jigsaw puzzle of family, work, relationship, and personal development priorities, I could reward myself with a well-deserved glass (or more) of wine which took me through to getting myself (and others when children were younger) into bed. And the day was over. But it was really over a good 7-8 hours prior.

I don’t think I ever really named what was happening. I just felt my chest start to tighten, my heart start to beat faster, my thoughts start to spin, and then I was gone. Out of the present moment and into Anxiety Alley, trying to escape all of its twists and turns. If I had been able to name it, I might have been able to sit with it rather than dodge it. I might have been able to invite Anxiety to tea as they say the Buddha did with Mara. Like Anxiety would come and tempt me into leaving my present experience and following her into a never-ending maze, Mara often tried to distract and tempt the Buddha. Rather than trying to fight Mara, the Buddha would say “I see you, Mara. Let’s have tea.” And that mindfulness and acceptance neutralized Mara. At least until the next time.

I am recalling all of this as someone just asked me why I was so compelled not only to practice mindfulness but also to teach it to others. And it came down to this. I see how listening to my Mara cost me hours of precious time on this very precious day. I could have been more present to my loved ones, the joys of nature, cooking, even household chores. And I might have done a little planning or had a glass of wine. But those could have been intentional choices made with greater ease and less desperation.

So the answer is, I don’t want to miss my life, especially the juicy parts (and those are key moments for Mara to appear). And I don’t want you to miss yours. If you’re interested in exploring this topic with me, let me know. And take a mindful moment to see your Mara.