This past week, I watched Baby Reindeer on Netflix. I knew little about it beyond its award buzz and strong reviews, but I’m drawn to stories of quirky characters struggling through life—how their struggles mirror my own or all of ours.

Without giving anything away, I’ll say it ventures into dark places, living up to its label as a dark comedy. What lingered most for me was how deeply we crave being seen and validated—how that longing and vulnerability can, at times, lead us into unhealthy, even dangerous patterns.

Watching made me reflect on my own past behaviors, especially in my younger years—how I’d repeatedly seek experiences that provided a fleeting sense of being someone. Like going clubbing with friends after restaurant shifts instead of going home to rest and focus on auditions. A part of me knew it wasn’t helping, but another part got hooked on the energy and the fantasy world clubs create.

Over time, those tendencies have softened into more benign escapes—binge-watching, binge-reading—but what am I escaping? Pursuing a dream can feel terrifying. When so much of our identity is wrapped up in it, failure can seem like a fate worse than death—the death of what we’ve deemed essential to our very existence.

And yet, what I keep discovering is that the answer is far less dramatic. If one dream doesn’t unfold as expected, something else always does. And at the very least—perhaps even at the very most—we gain painful learning. Hard-won insight.

Ironically, that struggle—the fall, the denial, the realization, the light—is more compelling than easy success. Why do we watch shows like Baby Reindeer? To witness the raw truth of being beautifully flawed human beings, to feel that deep connection.

Maybe life is about learning our way through, finding those moments of light, and being brave enough to explore the next shadowed path. Sharing the light when we find it. Sharing the journey even when we don’t.

And if that’s the case, the comfort and validation we seek—the baby reindeer—isn’t something outside ourselves to desperately search for and cling to. It’s something we can find and nurture within.

Here’s to your finding your true baby reindeer as you journey through your beautiful human life!