In psychology, the Dark Triad refers to three less-than-admirable personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Thankfully, my personal dark triad is a bit more benign (and more alliterative): Desire, Decisions, and Doubt.

For me, Desire can feel pure and aligned to my highest intentions—meaningful desires, like creating, connecting, and contributing. It’s pleasurable, but not in the same way as chocolate peanut butter gelato, a foot massage, or impulse online shopping. Desire runs a full spectrum, which is where Decisions come in.

Decisions aren’t always a tug-of-war between higher purpose and hedonism. Sometimes it’s choosing between two actions that both serve my growth: learning a new skill, reaching out to form a new relationship, or reprioritizing family. Other times it’s the momentous debate at the gelato shop: coconut mango, rocky road, or both (double scoop it is). Then there’s the frequent early morning decision: do I get up with the first alarm for my meditation, or stay snuggled in bed while my tiny canine co-pilot telepathically tells me to stay put?

And this is where Doubt drops in, like that annoying naysayer you cringe at during a meeting or a party. Doubt has me second-guessing choices, worrying I’ll regret whatever I pick. It turns a simple action plan into a Rubik’s Cube of trying to make it all work out perfectly so I don’t have to sacrifice any of my choices (which often leads to another D – Delay – but we won’t go there today).

So how do I navigate my dark triad? With mindfulness, I try to stay present, playful, and positive.

• Presence allows me to savor the many pleasures already here, which helps minimize the craving for more (8 hours was restorative enough).
• Playfulness lets me approach decisions lightly—when both options are good (or at least harmless), I can relax and know that either one will provide an experience and a discovery (coconut mango totally eclipsed with the rocky road – no more combos).
• Positivity, not the forced kind that ignores any painful or difficult experience, but the kind that trusts I’ll ultimately extract meaning out of whatever unfolds: whether it’s feeling slothful from sleeping in one too many times or feeling invigorated by a brisk morning walk in nature (with that little canine companion).

So unlike Indiana Jones when advised to “Choose wisely,” we can trust that there is some wisdom to be found in every one of our choices!

Here’s to your navigating your own dark triad with presence, playfulness, and positivity (with a double scoop when necessary)!