As several spiritual leaders and traditions recognize, we teach what we need to keep learning ourselves.

Four years ago, I was experiencing a convergence of life events. Like the title of Jon Kabat Zin’s book (which I had yet to read), it was Full Catastrophe Living. Or, as I’ve now heard in one of my communities, life was being “lifey.”  It was nothing more and nothing less than various strands of my world providing peak experiences all at the same time.

Depending on how your system is set up, what support it has, this can be devastatingly overwhelming. For me, a lot of stimuli all at once, can induce shut down. The phrase, “I Can’t…” comes to the surface. I can’t deal with this, face this, do this, be here, cope, etc. The tsunami of emotions feels like it will take me out.

Truthfully, I can also feel this way over a bad email, an unhappy client, or jumping in the car and realizing it needs gas before I can go anywhere else. It just doesn’t last very long. When it’s one thing happening, it’s much easier to have a conversation with I Can’t. To say, “I know, this sucks, sweetie. And of course you can’t deal with it, you’re only two. Go back to your juice, I’ve got this. We’ll play when I’m done.”

But when the trustworthy higher self is depleted, who talks to her? Who reassures her that everything is going to be OK, that we can get through this? So my journey began, to figure out how to restore her.  

Ongoing, it’s led me many places, most notably to renewing my spiritual practices, expanding my yoga practices, discovering the healing power of sound, being in nature, being with community, and to mindfulness. And that’s the ingredient, mindfulness, that has been serving to bind all of the others together, giving them a cohesiveness that could more powerfully restore that truest, wisest part of me, my soul.

For those of us who engage in soul-searching, whether driven by life-altering events or as a favorite pastime (for me it’s been both), we likely reflect on the past to revisit meaningful events and extract important lessons. We also envision the future to create a north star to guide our everyday actions. Done intentionally, both of those are critical. Yet, it is in the present that everything truly exists. Our breath, our bodies, are here and now. Our present experience is here and now. As Ram Dass implores, Be Here Now. This is the where the fuel is.

So my journey continues, deepening, discovering, sometimes feeling peaceful and content, sometimes feeling lost and overwhelmed, sometimes feeling happy and excited, sometimes able to stay present, and sometimes still getting pulled off on side roads. But more often now, with the help of mindfulness, I realize my charging station is always right here, in the present.

Here’s to your fueling your life journey right here and now!