From Science to Sinek, there’s growing consensus: friendship is essential. It enhances our health, happiness, and even longevity. But friendship, especially in adulthood, doesn’t just happen. As Chip Conley suggests, what if we treated friendship like a practice—similar to yoga or meditation?

Reflecting on this, I think of how essential friendship was in my early years. Even with constant moves, I can name every best friend from second grade to college. We logged endless hours playing, exploring, exchanging secrets, and making sense of the world. Sleep was optional, easily sacrificed for the sharing that fueled us even more than rest.

Adulthood noticeably shifted things. Responsibilities grew. Time shrank. Intimacy lessened. Friendships became more episodic, often built around work or parenting or community, meaningful but not as deep.

There were still moments—late nights with fellow performers after restaurant shifts, park dates as a young mom, the occasional girls’ weekend. But the kind of friendship I once experienced had changed. It wasn’t quite as nourishing to my soul.

Thankfully, I’ve had gurus, wise women who naturally embody and practice intentional friendship. One dear friend in particular could teach a masterclass in what this looks like: regular get-togethers, spontaneous texts, creative rituals, deep sharing—especially during times of challenge. She models what it means to treat friendship as sacred, not secondary.

Lately, I’ve been asking: Am I being the kind of friend I want to have? Including to myself. Not to add another “should” to the always lengthy to-do list but tuning in to the quality of the exchange. Could I be more present? More playful? More generous in spirit? Even asking these questions is starting to change the energy.

So I’m committing to this practice. Starting where I am with the treasured friends and family already in my life. Bringing some gentle awareness to the way I tend to my friendships, not with pressure, but with presence.

Here’s to appreciating the art of adult friendship and experiencing all the ways this practice enriches our lives!