When Waters Collide
Staying Spacious in Times of Conflict & Change
Have you ever found yourself caught between strong opposing currents? Different perspectives. Different deeply felt needs. Each pulling in their own direction.
Our instinct may be to fix the conflict, choose a side, convince someone to change, or retreat from the discomfort altogether. Instead, the mindfulness practice of equanimity may be most wise.
Equanimity is sometimes mistaken for detachment or indifference. But it is not about caring less or rising above our emotions. It is the ability to remain open, grounded, and clear—even while strong feelings and competing forces are present.
Mindfulness teacher Tara Brach describes equanimity as “being the ocean, not the waves.”
The waves are real. We feel their force. We may experience fear, frustration, sadness, anger, or uncertainty of our own.
Equanimity does not require us to become emotionless, detached, or indifferent. It asks us to remember that the waves are moving within something larger.
This may be one of the most important capacities we can cultivate—not only in our personal lives, but as leaders.
In times of change and transformation, conflict will arise. When people care, strong feelings and opinions emerge. Familiar roles shift. Identities feel threatened. Different ideas about what is safe, right, or possible begin to collide. Conflict is not always evidence that something has gone wrong.
The deeper question is whether we can remain present without being captured by the strongest current in the room.
- Can we feel our own reactions while continuing to listen?
- Can we hold conviction without losing curiosity?
- Can we see the fear beneath resistance, the hope beneath urgency, and the larger purpose beneath competing positions?
Plum Village describes equanimity as cultivating “the strength to face reality without being crushed by it.”
That does not mean accepting every behavior or abandoning our boundaries. An ocean still has shorelines. Sometimes steadiness leads to a difficult conversation, a clear no, or a decision others may not understand.
The practice is not to avoid the waves. It is to act from the deeper water—from our values, our awareness, and the person we are choosing to become.
When you find yourself caught between opposing currents, pause and ask:
- 🌊 What is moving through me right now?
- 🌊 What larger truth is being revealed?
- 🌊 Who am I called forth to be within this?
We may not be able to calm every wave. But we can practice becoming spacious enough to hold all of what’s here with compassion and presence.
