Is Autopilot Lazy or Loyal?
A New Year's Experiment in Awareness
This week, I’ve been spending time with a perhaps common post-New Year’s question:
- Why can't I just make a positive habit change, like getting up earlier?
- Why can't I "Just Do It" like the Nike commercial says?
As I prepare for a new round of mindfulness gatherings focused on habit change, I’ve been revisiting the work of Hugh Byrne (with appreciation, too, for James Clear and Atomic Habits). To help answer my question above, one additional query Hugh’s work prompted for me is:
What if the habits we want to change are not personal failures but strategies to protect something meaningful?
Take this current experiment. I have a clear, attractive intention: go to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier. Early mornings give me access to meditation, prayer, reflection, creativity — all things I value deeply. Sounds like a no-brainer, right?
Except… my brain is very involved.
What I’ve noticed is that my existing 8–11 pm routine isn’t random or lazy. It’s familiar. It’s relational. It involves my partner, my pet, the rhythms we’ve established together. My nervous system knows this time. It’s safe here.
So while my idea of waking up at 6 am feels compelling, the reality of what it would take — shifting not just a bedtime, but an ecosystem — is more complex.
And here’s the interesting part: my current habit isn’t unhealthy or harmful. It’s what Hugh Byrne might call unhelpful or unwanted. A quiet whisper, not a scream. Which, ironically, makes it harder to change.
So instead of judging myself for not just doing it, I’m practicing awareness:
- Noticing what I don’t want to lose.
- Noticing what I do want to gain.
- Noticing how wired we are to choose what helps us now over what might help us later.
For now, the next phase of my experiment is modest (atomic?): a 5–15 minute shift, approached with curiosity rather than force. We’ll see where it goes.
Because perhaps real change doesn’t start with fixing but rather facing ourselves — seeing the whole picture to preserve what’s important while adopting what’s inspiring.
Here’s to noticing our patterns without judgment — and letting awareness lead the way.
